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Tantra and Masturbation: My First “Tantric” Experience?

I recently had a crazy “spiritual” experience during masturbation. I’ve been told it isn’t tantra, but I’ll call it tantra for lack of a better term.

I gave myself an evening off an decided to masturbate. I played with my vibrator for maybe an hour and had an orgasm. It was enjoyable, but not quite satisfying. I started back up, when I became aware I was going toward a pattern I recently observed – when I keep going after an orgasm, I’m usually TRYING to have a second. And though I can usually get the job done, TRYING is not satisfying. So I decided I didn’t care about an orgasm and was just going to play around.

I messed around with a new cyberskin dildo I like because its about the size of my husband’s dick. I tried different sensations of moving it in and out, keeping it in, and holding it at different depths of my pussy. I added on the vibrator, trying different areas and amounts of pressure. After awhile I landed on some magically perfect combination of the two, and felt something I never have before.

It was a sensation was of pure pleasure – no fear, no anxiety, no guilt, no fantasy – just intense pleasure, located on one specific spot on the left side of my clit. I tensed up all my muscles, as is my body’s typical response to something feeling good. Normally I would hold my breath as well, trying to move as little as possible to hold on to the feeling (which only sort of works anyway). But this time I consciously breathed while I focused all my attention on that specific spot. Tantra is about using breath to connect to your body and prolong pleasure.

What was already quite amazing turned into a sort of hallucinogenic experience. For a brief moment it felt as if my entire physical body had curled up into itself in this spot. I felt as if my body was that spot and nothing else. It was short, but momentarily time stopped. It was as though I lived my entire life in that moment; I was born in it and would die in it, only there was no death to speak of. It just… was, for lack of a better description. With my next breath I felt a wave of this deep intense feeling wash down from my head to my toes. Then I got excited about what had just happened and lost all focus, laughing to myself.

It was the most physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually fulfilling experience I may have ever had. It felt so deep I could have stopped then and felt more satisfied than if I’d had 10 orgasms. I didn’t stop – I located the spot a couple more times, only after relaxing myself and being completely okay with whether I found it or not. No trying here, just allowing my body to let go and feel it if it was there to feel.

If this is tantra, awesome. If its not…whatever it was, I’m thankful I experienced it.

Edited: June 18th, 2012

Review: The Sacred Prostitute and Magdalene Unveiled

In American culture, the word ‘prostitute‘ is an insult. But historically, many cultures honored prostitution as a sacred profession.

That’s the subject of Dr. Ray Stubbs’ DVD – The Sacred Prostitute and Magdalene Unveiled.

The Sacred Prostitute and Magdalene Unveiled

The Sacred Prostitute and Magdalene Unveiled

The film begins with an overview of history of prostitution, and how in many cultures prostitutes were affiliated with religious institutions and considered sacred healers. For instance, when men would come home from war, they would visit prostitutes who would “cleanse the war out of them” so they would be ready to return home to their families.

At present day, in contrast to normative modes of healing (say, psychotherapy or massage), sexual healers believe sexuality is integral to the self. Thus to heal any physical, mental, or emotional wounds we must also address the sexual. Sexual healers use various modes of healing – such as breathing and visualization – that awaken sexual energy, often without touching the genitals.

Sexual healers believe that sexuality is inherently spiritual. As one man said, “We don’t just take sexuality as the physical intercourse;” genital-genital contact is just a starting place. More broadly, sexuality is about “interconnection, interdependence, and interrelation” of ourselves with all of nature. The term “tantra” comes from “tan,” meaning the inner self or soul, and “tra” meaning getting closer. Thus, tantra is about getting closer to the soul. Our soul being interconnected to God/Source/Jesus/Buddha/Higher Power and all living beings, as all beings have this divine spirit within them.

According to Kenneth Ray Stubbs, PhD, a sacred prostitute is an individual on a path of spiritual practice who assists persons of any sex, gender, sexual orientation, or age by honoring the natural divinity within.

The difference between contemporary prostitution and sacred sexual healing was not clear, because it isn’t. The interviewees had differing opinions; some were adamant that they were not prostitutes, while others did not see much difference. As a generalization, it appears sexual healers support the legalization of prostitution. As one woman stated, there is no reason why we should not be able to have a “quickie salad bar meal” at a brothel or a “10 course meal” with a sexual healer; it is our right to choose how we express our sexuality.

A very interesting and eye-opening film. I’ll conclude with my favorite line, from sex and marriage counselor Ina Laughing Winds – “When people are sexually free, they are free and no tyrant can rule them.”

Edited: February 12th, 2012