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Porn Review: Kimberly Kane’s Beautiful Stranger

I recently discovered director and adult film star Kimberly Kane, in her DVD Beautiful Stranger.

For various reasons, I’d been under the impression that I wouldn’t like Vivid’s films. A lot of their porn is plot-based and most porn stars aren’t great actors. So I’d mentally written off the company even though I barely gave them a chance. This film proved me wrong.

In preparing for my recent interview with Aiden Starr, I found this pic on her website from Kimberly Kane’s Beautiful Stranger:

Aiden Starr - Beautiful Stranger

Aiden Starr - Beautiful Stranger

I thought the pic was really sexy – I love the contrast of a woman’s beauty with a grimy setting, and the stuffed animal gave this dominatrix a sexy yet dirty innocence. The DVD wasn’t like that at all… But I still like the pic.

Onto the video… There was apparently a bit of plot to the film, it began with maybe 5 minutes of story – but I skipped past it to the first scene I watched of three.

Kristina Rose & Bobbi Starr - Beautiful Stranger

Kristina Rose & Bobbi Starr - Beautiful Stranger

Kristina Rose and Bobbi Starr made a great pair. It began with a lesbian domination theme but they wound up trading back and forth, being generally dirty together. I enjoyed the stocking fetish play, tearing them off, Bobbi putting the foot of her stocking over Kristina’s face and making out with her through it was my favorite. I’ve seen pantyhose encasement on and did one encasement clip myself… And I didn’t really get the turn on. But seeing it in the context of two girls getting kinky was arousing.

I skipped the second and third scenes.

Aiden Starr & Denis Marti - Beautiful Stranger

Aiden Starr & Denis Marti - Beautiful Stranger

Aiden Starr was paired with Denis Marti for this boy-girl scene. I’d never heard of Denis but he was pretty good looking, especially for porn guys who often seem to be guys I’d never fuck. So I could imagine myself in the scene enough to enjoy Aiden sucking his cock.

The real pleasure though, came from watching Aiden. There was nothing dominatrix about her in this scene, but she was voracious. When I interviewed her, she said that she always orgasms in her scenes, because they’re HER scenes. I love that attitude. And orgasm she did. I love watching porn where a woman is enjoying it so much she doesn’t care what she looks like. Aiden made the strangest faces and loud squealing noises – there’s no faking THAT level of pleasure. Her response reminded me of some deeply intense times I’ve had with Terry. Because while I watch porn to see pretty girls fucking, sometimes great sex ISN’T pretty – and that’s hot.

Her scene proved me wrong about another thing I thought I didn’t like about porn – the positions that seem to only benefit the camera angle. Like reverse cowgirl where she’s bouncing up and down on his dick – I’ve seen so much porn where girls do this looking bored, and its not something I’ve been particularly into. But damn, Aiden was INTO it. During a behind-the-scenes snippet in the credits, she hopped off his dick and was switching positions. A woman behind the camera (presumably Kimberly Kane) asked if she was having fun – she laughed as she enthusiastically said, “YEAH!” I like being proved wrong.

Kimberly Kane & Savanna Samson - Beautiful Stranger

Kimberly Kane & Savanna Samson - Beautiful Stranger

The final scene began with director Kimberly Kane masturbating surrounded by tall candles, like a seance. I think this was somehow connected to that mini plot in the beginning, but it wasn’t really necessary to enjoy the scene. Kimberly was fantasizing about her dominatrix neighbor. My favorite part was when she said, “I want to taste every cock that’s been in your pussy” while she touched herself – HOT. Blended into a scene of her fantasy, with said dominatrix – Savanna Samson.

I wasn’t that into Savanna and didn’t feel a great chemistry between them, but Kimberly was very into it so she somewhat made up for it. Lots of lesbian action, again my favorite line was repeated as Kimberly licked inside her pussy. YES.

Overall I loved the dirty feel of this film, and the authenticity of most the performers. The camera work was great, and while I appreciated the grimy look – the lighting could have been better at times, especially for close ups. I can’t speak for the other scenes, but I’d definitely recommend. I usually enjoy porn directed by women, and I’m happy I discovered Kimberly Kane. My body liked it too – I squirted 3 times while watching.  I think that speaks better for the film than anything I’ve written here.

Watch Beautiful Stranger here.

Edited: February 17th, 2013

Porn Review of Bobbi Starr’s Vicarious

I recently masturbated while watching Bobbi Starr’s Vicarious.

I first heard of Bobbi Starr’s Vicarious in this article. I figured, if a straight girl is into it – its probably good.

Bobbi Starr - Vicarious

Bobbi Starr - Vicarious

And I was right. While I did a voyeur webcam show, I watched the first hour of this DVD.

All the scenes featured Bobbi’s POV cam, complemented by two (?) additional cameras catching other angles as well as Bobbi filming. I love the concept – I enjoy female POV shots (since its what I see) but other cameras can sometimes get a better view of the action. I would have enjoyed more shots of the entire scene, showing Bobbi holding her camera. It was hot to see her watching the screen on her camera, seeing her capturing her own pleasure. Nonetheless the concept was itself erotic – Bobbi hired these women to come eat her pussy and play with them, filming it herself. Kinda ruins the whole porn-is-made-by-men-for-men argument.

Bobbi Starr POV - Vicarious

Bobbi Starr POV - Vicarious

Each scene began with snippets from a brief interview with her partner – I saw Skin Diamond, Dylan Ryan, and Ash Hollywood. I always enjoy when interviews are included because I like to know the personality of the girl – its what makes me feel attracted to her, and its easier to mentally put myself in the scene. Interviews were short – maybe a couple minutes each – but it broke up the scenes nicely.

Ash Hollywood & Bobbi Starr - Vicarious

Ash Hollywood & Bobbi Starr - Vicarious

What I love about Bobbi Starr is her kinkiness, and though these were girl-girl scenes each included fetishistic elements. All 3 scenes I saw included stockings – I enjoyed watching Skin Diamond lick the bottom of her heels (something I fantasize about but actually doing it – gross… unless they’re unworn). She then kissed up Bobbi’s thighs and ripped open the crotch of her pantyhose to eat her pussy. The scene with Dylan Ryan included some foot play – rubbing her feet on Dylan’s pussy. I wondered if I could have an orgasm from a woman holding her foot against my pussy as I grind against it… probably. Ash Hollywood looked hot licking her ass from underneath, while fingering Bobbi’s pussy – though her fingernails freaked me out. I don’t get how these porn girls have nails and finger themselves without injury.

From the 3 scenes I saw, the DVD had an artistic and feminine feel but with a kinky edge. I’d definitely recommend to anyone into girl-girl, stockings, and/or has wondered how sex looks from a chick’s perspective (you may not see as much direct action as male POV, but its hot in a more subtle way).

Watch Vicarious here.

Edited: February 16th, 2013

Listener Questions on Domination & Submission With Aiden Starr

Dominatrix and porn star Aiden Starr is back to answer listener questions on domination and submission.

If you didn’t hear my interview with this intelligent & beautiful woman, listen here.

Aiden Starr shares her insights from years of personal and professional experience in BDSM. We cover several questions:

(1) What can you do if you’re into BDSM and your partner isn’t? Hear Aiden’s take on submissive men – a group I hear from often – and whether/how they can share their desires with a partner.

(2) Where to draw boundaries? I received an email asking about submissives, “that want no boundaries or safe words, but who are destined for a more ruinous end (and are only turned on by that).” How far is too far? And what should you do when your or your partners’ boundaries are crossed?

(3) How can someone get started in BDSM if they’ve never tried it?

Want more of Aiden? Check out her website to watch videos & book a session, follow her on twitter, and hear her co-host the Mean Bitches Show every Thursday 9-11pm PST on Sirius XM 103.

Subscribe in iTunes!

Edited: February 14th, 2013

Does Women’s Sexuality Have a Place in Sex Work?

The adult industry has a rep for stylizing “male” desires and using the female body to conform. In the internet age, as more women become sex workers by choice, creating and owning their experiences – I’m seeing a new wave in the adult world.

Just wanted to let you know that masturbating along with you for the last hour or so has been an incredibly erotic experience … the perfect meditation that i had been looking for as part of a Taoist yogic practice of prolonged erotic energy play. It was also a wonderful learning experience about female sexuality … getting on to the wavelength of how you touch yourself, how your arousal builds, transforms, etc. After a while i began to mirror your touching, treating the head of my penis like your clitoris, the shaft like your lips, etc. (although mirroring you touching inside your vagina was a bit problematic … so i settled for alternating between the base of my shaft and my perineum. ;-) ) Anyway … thanks for an incredibly memorable experience.

I got this message after one of my voyeur webcam masturbation shows. While I watched amazing female-shot & directed girl-girl porn (review coming soon!), I focused on simply touching my body in ways that felt good. No destination, not trying to have an orgasm or do anything specific. I squirted because my body wanted to, but I didn’t orgasm. And guess what – it was far more enjoyable than the times I’ve tried and “succeeded.”

For all the times I wondered whether there was a place for real expressions of women’s sexuality in sex work – sans performance – this was a nice note to remind me that absolutely, there is. I think the adult world is hungry for women’s true desires… Because I think by and large, the world is malnourished, having learned that a disassociative masculine approach to sexuality IS sex.

When you come across a real, nourishing meal — eat it up.

Edited: February 13th, 2013

What’s it Like to be a Dominatrix & Porn Star? Let’s Ask Aiden Starr

To dominatrix and porn star Aiden Starr, sex work isn’t just a job – its a lifestyle. 

Aiden Starr

Aiden Starr

Aiden has always been a dominant woman who grew tired of trying to be “normal.” She found her home in professionally dominating men and women in private sessions, and later on camera. Aiden has starred in over 219 adult DVDs and has won multiple AVN awards. Listen to how she talks about her training, sessions, and clients – its obvious in her voice how much this 4’11″ pro-domme loves this work (and play). Aiden is experienced in many facets of domination, as you can see on Strapons and electro play are some of her and her fans’ favorites – she’s even been shocked with a cattle prod! She’s one strong chick so I found it especially cute that personally, Aiden likes girls more than guys, and at home she enjoys “lesbian” sex with her crossdresser boyfriend.

Want more of Aiden? Check out her website to watch videos & book a session, follow her on twitter, and hear her co-host the Mean Bitches Show every Thursday 9-11pm PST on Sirius XM 103.

Subscribe in iTunes!

Edited: February 10th, 2013

When Rough Sex Gets Too Rough

I had a recent sexual encounter that involved blood. Not on purpose.

I like being submissive, but I hate pain. I enjoy light slapping, spanking and hair pulling – but more for the shock value and intensity. A little sting is okay but pain takes me out of the fun submissive space.

So who’s responsible when it goes too far?

It depends. In power exchange situations, best practice is to discuss boundaries beforehand. Dom agrees to honor. But its up to the submissive to assert when they’ve been crossed. Doms aren’t mind readers. Its a two-way street.

I knew it was going a bit too far, but I didn’t say anything until my body did. That was my bad. Lesson learned.

Some tips:

- If you’re going to play rough, establish a safeword or signal. Or multiple safewords – in BDSM green, yellow & red are often used. Yellow is useful – slow down, change gears, but don’t stop. I was in a yellow zone ’til my body went red. Physical signals can be useful when words can’t be spoken, like in choking (I’ll tap my partner on the arm if its too much).

- If you can, practice first. Impractical for some situations – if you’re into rough spanking its probably not a great idea to take yourself all the way to bleeding (some like it) and then go back to start over. But especially if your’e in a relationship and play often, try doing the act like P90X – rep to fail. If its spanking, have your partner spank you harder and harder until you hit yellow, then RED. Then the dom partner knows how far is comfortable for the sub. But be aware that the limits can change day to day depending on how the sub’s mind/body/soul is feeling.

- Take responsibility. All parties. Power exchange is built on trust, so if someone fucks up, they need to own it if the session or relationship will continue.

- If boundaries are crossed, give the body time to recover before returning to the same act.

- Be aware that accidentally crossing boundaries isn’t the end of the world, unless you’re dealing with potentially dangerous acts (choking, needle play, suspension, electro play, etc.). Don’t dwell on it, learn from it. Whether it means sticking up for your needs, finding a more suitable partner, or simply discovering that you don’t like certain acts. Unpleasant experiences can be just as important as pleasant ones to learn about desires.

- Talk about it after. What was great, what could be improved. Talking about it can be sexy itself, and sets the stage for more fun next time.

Edited: February 9th, 2013

Why Do I Have Different Fantasies When I’m Tired?

Sex Question Via Tumblr: Any chance you can help explain why it is everytime I’m super tired, I fantasize about the same gender more?

My Response:

When I’m tired, I gravitate toward dirtier & kinkier fantasies. When we’re tired, our sex drives can be lower but we still have sexual needs. So the fantasy can fill the gap in your physical energy with a mental idea.

If you don’t otherwise fantasize about the same sex, sounds like this is a kinky or ‘taboo’ fantasy for you to help your body do the trick. You may or may not otherwise desire the same sex – not all of our fantasies are experiences we want in “real life.”

Edited: February 8th, 2013

Yep, I’m an Exhibitionist

I was the shy kid.

So shy, my classmates would ask me if I knew how to talk. One of the few things they’d hear me say: YES. With as much of an attitude I could muster at the time.

My early masturbation experiences were anxiety provoking. My room was right next to my parents’ and I slept with my bedroom door open. Starting around age 9, I’d masturbate before I went to sleep. Of course, I didn’t call it masturbation… it was just this thing I discovered. It felt good and helped me fall asleep.

But I was always nervous my parents would walk by. I’d hear creaks on the steps and freeze – if I didn’t move, they’d never know.

In middle and high school, I experienced what seemed like overwhelming sexual feelings. I felt like I had to hide it. Nobody else seemed to have these feelings – none of my friends ever talked about it – so I thought I was the only one. I knew people liked sex, but what I felt was so… MUCH. If everyone felt what I did, they’d clearly be talking about it – that was my logic.

I developed a generalized paranoia about being watched. I imagined what it’d be like if there were hidden cameras in every room of my parents’ house. I wondered if God could see my every move, and whether I was doing things I wasn’t supposed to. I was raised as a secular Jew, not religious, but God seemed this being that could know my dirty little secrets. Even if I didn’t tell anyone else. I’d go about my daily business watching myself as if my life were a movie – trying to catch myself revealing too much. I was already shy but became even more internal.

I started being sexual with others around age 14. Shortly after I went on antidepressants. That put a damper on things, though not completely. Having what I saw as weird perverted fantasies heightened my shame. I’d go through periods of trying not to masturbate – if I didn’t indulge it, maybe it’d go away. It always came back.

With guys I often felt frozen. I’d just go along with whatever they wanted, far too anxious to say what I wanted. At that point, I was so disassociated from my sexuality that I didn’t usually know what I wanted anyway. Much of it felt blah. Over time I started resenting the guys who’d get so much pleasure from my body, while I laid there sometimes just waiting for it to be over. Not to say it was always bad, but good sex just “happened.” I never knew how to make it happen, so I’d wait hoping the next time would be what I wanted. Maybe a 1/3 or 1/4 shot.

But what was always exciting was sex in random places. I was usually more bold than the guys I dated. Public sex was one of the few acts I’d initiate. Giving a boyfriend a handjob in class (not to orgasm, of course), fucking in my car in the parking garage, in music practice rooms or offices at school…

Physically, it was still hit or miss (mostly miss). But having sex where I wasn’t supposed to was exciting. I felt alive. The anxiety of being caught was intertwined with my arousal.

So in retrospect, its no surprise that porn appeals to me. As I become more comfortable with my own sexuality, I’m moving away from “performing” what’s requested to simply “doing.” Or “being.” Capturing on film my and my co-stars’ authentic responses. The situations may be contrived, I see it as roleplaying. But our reactions are becoming more and more real.

After webcamming for several months in the typical way girls do – one-on-one private shows for paying customers – I got absolutely sick of it. Not only am I not really into other men, the situation was too forced. I’m not going to have a really enjoyable orgasm in 5 or 10 or 15 minutes, unless I’m sporadically horny in my everyday life. I didn’t like the pressure of someone telling me what they wanted to see. I just wanted to be me.

Tonight was my first voyeur webcam show. Of many more to come, which will soon be free to members of my website. I simply set up my webcam and went about my own business. I was aware the cam was on and felt a small surge of anxiety with being seen – similar to fucking Terry in a swinger’s club. Only I’m alone. Just me. Doing me. Literally.

Being seen doing things I once felt deeply ashamed for feels liberating. Intellectually, I know masturbation is fine, there are no right or wrong fantasies, and any way someone enjoys touching themselves is okay so long as they don’t harm another living being. Yet my sexual response is still tied to anxiety – as if in such a high level of anxiety is a space of calm.

I believe my exhibitionism is similar to people who enjoy extreme sports. Terry, for instance, used to race cars and still likes driving really really fast when no one’s around. He describes the feeling as so intense he has no choice but to be present. To watch his every move, knowing that losing control could mean losing life.

Granted, I won’t die from being watched having sex. But as a kid the fear felt like I would. That response is deeply embedded. But its no longer a problem. Its an opportunity for me to display authentic sexuality to people who are accustomed to seeing over-stylized performances in much of mainstream porn. Or just as bad, romantic movies.

I believe if we saw “real” sex in whatever form it comes, we’d all be better lovers. Myself included. I learn a ton from the women I fuck. If I never entered the adult industry, I’d have no idea just how different every person’s sexuality is. Performing fetish videos and experiencing sexuality with my co-stars has helped me become comfortable with my own weirdness. Which sometimes can be pretty “normal.”

And thus, I’m ready to “come out” with it in a much bigger way. There will always be fantasies I keep to myself, acts I share with Terry I won’t do on camera. I still need a space of privacy and intimacy. But I choose to put a portion of my sexuality in the open, not only because I enjoy it but to show others there are more options for expressing ourselves than we’ve been taught. That the way women get off is diverse, even within ONE woman. That sex IS not anything in particular except that which feels good.

I didn’t choose exhibitionism, but I wouldn’t change it. I’m thankful for my sexuality. And I’m thankful for this lifestyle.

Edited: February 6th, 2013