Letting Go of Sexual Shame

… or at least starting to anyway.

Its a process. You won’t just wake up one day and feel fantastic about something you’ve felt shitty about most or all of your life. Sorry. I wish that were true. Oh have I wished that were true…

But after wishful thinking failed me again and again, it was time to try something different.

Here’s something I’ve told myself many times over the last few years, completely changing the path of my life, going from rigidly normal to crazy exhibitionist sex worker:

The only way out is to go deeper in.

My path has been wrought with anxiety and second-guessing, packaged nicely with a bow in the wrapping paper of shame. The very feeling I sought to overcome became more and more prominent, harder and harder to avoid. On some level, I knew it would happen that way.

But I still didn’t like it. Trust me, if there were any other way, I’d have found it by now. Intuitively, I understood that the pleasure, connection & intimacy I wanted out of love & sex lie on the other side. That to feel what I REALLY wanted – I had to pass through all that junk I didn’t. Because it was avoiding all that yucky stuff that was really keeping me from those warm fuzzy feelings I craved.

Or rather, crave. Its still current. An ongoing process. Every time I confront my shame, feel it, explore it, allow it to be – a teeny bit more pleasure creeps in. I’ve let go of a lot the last few years, but there’s still more.

Yet I’ve seen enough progress to know that this is the way it works, and to trust the process, painful as it can be:

The only way out is to go deeper in.

Because what lies on the other side of pain is joy. On the other side lies fairies and unicorns and glitter and kittens and hugs and kisses and tingles and erections and pussy juice and orgasms and fantasies fulfilled and shit so awesome you’ll just flip yourself right over:

Listen to find out what exactly I do, and how you can start letting go yourself…

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Related posts:

  1. Sexual Shame Stops a Foot Job
  2. Sex and Shame

Posted: December 31st, 2013 under Sexual Healing.
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