How to Eat Pussy: Exercise Your Tongue
Captain Obvious says to know how to eat pussy, you gotta have a strong tongue.
If you’re worn out after 2 minutes, either find a chick who can cum that quickly or try some tongue exercises, courtesy of the awkwardly hilarious Uncle Melon:
Stick your tongue as far out of your mouth as possible, and then try to touch your nose. Eat a booger, if possible. Repeat in 3 sets of 10 reps or when boogers are clear. This exercise is fun, funny to watch, and nutritious. It also makes a great decongestant.
With a loose jaw, point your tongue while simultaneously trying to keep your tongue in constant contact with the top and bottom of your mouth. You’ll quickly learn that this is impossible. A Zen-like exercise designed to equip you mentally for failing again and again to satisfy your lover.
Keep your tongue relaxed and open your mouth. Move your tongue in and out of your mouth, forward, and in both directions, while licking hair from her hair brush. Try to focus while clearing the hairs. Practice in five sets of twenty and build up to adding aromas and darkness to the exercise.
And you’ll look just like this sexy beast:
That’s who I want eating my pussy. Or… not.
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