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When Do Women Orgasm During a Hookup?

What I find most interesting, is that (on average) women are more likely to orgasm during a hookup when (a) they touch their clitoris (duh), (b) she receives oral sex (duh), AND (c) they have ANAL sex (!).

Edited: April 19th, 2014

An Embarrassing Story: Why You Should Only Use Toys Made For Your Butt, In Your Butt

People like to put all kinds of things in their orifices…

And sex educators always like to say its smartest & safest to use toys with a flared base in the butt so they don’t get lost. Kinda like this:

But I think we’ve all heard of situations that ended up more like this:

Fortunately those x-rays are not of MY butt. BUTT I did come close… listen to the hilariously embarrassing story for the details!

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Edited: April 17th, 2014

We Don’t Ask for Our Desires…

… so we may as well get friendly with them.

Even if they’re weird, humiliating, or violent (so long as nobody REALLY gets hurt).

Here’s what self-defined feminist, Emily, has to say about her fantasies (many of which overlap my own interests):

I consider myself to err on the side of sexual submission. I have never been into the performative aspects of it all — I am not some weird sex LARPer who wants to wear costumes and address each other as “Master” and “Slave.” I don’t want to go to special events, I shouldn’t have to wear pleather just to get it done, and I don’t want to “play.” I want to have weird sex with weird people who like weird things, like an adult.

Some of those weird things that I like include: rough breast play including slapping, clothespins and ropes; name-calling of the slut-bitch-whore variety; forced deepthroating; facials; “Daddy” talk; rape play; spanking; dirty talk; hair-pulling; group sex; anal; and basically anything else filthy/nasty/taboo/found in your average pornographic video. Also, and here’s the stuff that’s more for special occasions and that I don’t want to admit on a site for ladies: being slapped, being spit on, being choked, being urinated on.

I don’t begrudge anyone their role as captain of their own sexual steamship. Desire is complicated and tricky to regulate — I don’t think I could stop being turned on by being treated “badly” any easier than a gay man could suddenly start being attracted to women. I might prefer that my big controversial sex preferences involved whipped cream or whatever instead of wanting to be slapped in the face during intercourse, but that is not the hand I was dealt.

We all, male and female, live in a world where a wider range of sexual activity is visible and accessible to us. As long as we keep consent, respect and common courtesy top of mind, that fact in itself doesn’t have to hurt anybody.

Sometimes I hear women say that by engaging in “politically incorrect” sex, we are sending a message to men that all women want to be treated in such a manner. But consensual sexual activity, even if it resembles some nonconsual sexual activity, isn’t rape any more than movie murder is real murder. And while some people certainly think we should eliminate movie violence lest it drive the easily influenced to commit violent acts, we’re not talking about movies here. We’re talking about people. And you can’t eliminate people or ask them to eliminate parts of themselves, no matter how messy or unappealing their desires may seem to you.

Since we can’t erase reality, we better start dealing in nuance.

Getting slapped and called a slut because it turns me on and I’ve asked for it is not abuse. The men who want to do that are not abusers; in fact a lot of them are some of the nicest and most respectful men I’ve met outside of the bedroom. Rape play and rape are never going to be the same thing. And pretending that the two are similar is actually way more confusing and dangerous than clearly differentiating them.

If our men truly can’t tell the difference between hurting, abusing and degrading a woman, and participating in consensual play utilizing some of these elements, then the problem lies with them and sexual education in our society, not with those temptingly rape-able women who enjoy rough play.

If you are still confused, consider this: After we’re done, when I’m spent from being used, being told I’m a filthy whore as you hold me down or toss me around or hit me if those are the boundaries we’ve agreed upon, when I’m covered in saliva and sweat and bodily fluids, look at my face. I will be smiling.

That’s the difference.

Edited: March 12th, 2014

How to Have Anal Sex – Pain From Anal Yeast Infection

Knowing how to have anal sex that feels great means dealing with challenges that come up… like anal yeast infections.

They’re not fun in general. And they make me, who LOVES anal sex, want to run away screaming.

If she has one, she will too.

Listen to how I’ve dealt with anal yeast infections quickly & easily so I could get back to ENJOYING my booty.

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Edited: September 17th, 2013

How to Have Anal Sex: Pain From Anal Fissures, Ouchie!

One of the biggest complaints women have about how to have anal sex is pain.

Even the best technique won’t help if she’s got an anal fissure, a (hopefully) small tear in her rectum or on her butthole.

Anyone can get one, so if she’s complaining of pain – it could be this. Tune in and find out how she can heal her bootypain and make anal sex fun & enjoyable.

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Edited: September 11th, 2013

The Best Sex EVER

I recently had the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life. And I’ve had a lot of really good sex.

Listen in on the juicy details…

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Edited: July 18th, 2013

How to Have Anal Sex for Him – Intro to Strap-On Ass Play

Listener questions on how to have anal sex for him!

Why do guys enjoy strap on sex? Do the techniques I use for anal in my anal sex guide work for male recipients of anal pleasure too? What’s a woman to do with a strap on?

If you’re interested in reversing roles and trying something new, listen below for some beginner tips on strap on play!

Leave a comment and share any strap on how to have anal sex tips!

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Edited: March 24th, 2013

How to Have Anal Sex – With Porn Star Sarah Shevon

If you want to learn how to have anal sex, anal-loving porn star Sarah Shevon can teach you a thing or two.

Why? Because she REALLY enjoys having a thing or two inside her ass. A long time fan of anal fisting, Sarah Shevon recently discovered pleasure in ‘double anal’ – not one, but TWO dicks in her ass at the same time.

Impressed? Horrified? Believe it or not, Sarah loves anal so much its her preferred form of sex with a guy. She regularly has orgasms from extreme ass play, enjoying the intensity.

So if you’ve been wondering how to have anal sex, listen to this podcast. Even if you only want a finger up your ass, with all her experience you will definitely learn something from anal sex pro Sarah Shevon!

Hear my first interview with Sarah here.

Follow Sarah Shevon on Twitter!

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Edited: January 27th, 2013

From the Corporate World to Adult Film: Talking With Porn Star Sarah Shevon

Today I interviewed porn star Sarah Shevon.

Sarah Shevon is a 28 year old porn star. The daughter of two hippies, Sarah is something of a “free spirit” who entered the porn industry in 2009. Tired of corporate jobs, she was seeking more fun and excitement in her life – and found it in her exhibitionism. While some women get into porn for the paycheck, Sarah actually took a pay CUT from her previous accounting job. That means she truly enjoys her work, so YOU are free to enjoy her videos knowing she has a great time. Sarah says she’s never felt objectified in porn, rather its helped her explore her sexuality and try new things.

Sarah Shevon

Sarah Shevon

Sarah Shevon is known for her extreme anal scenes like double anal (two dicks in her ass at once) and anal fisting, not to mention double penetration and double vaginal (two dicks in her pussy). She has recently started webcamming at My Free Cams – check her out for FREE and join to chat with her. And of course, you can follow Sarah Shevon on twitter @SarahShevon!

 

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Edited: January 24th, 2013

Relationship Advice: Dealing With Sexual Incompatibility

Relationship advice: Its unlikely you’ll find someone with the EXACT same sexual interests as you, but sometimes couples are working off completely different books.

Its bullshit that if you love each other the sex will work itself out. Considering its how we physically share intimacy, sexual compatibility is an important factor – in my opinion, as central to a relationship as spirituality and finances. So what happens when partners want – or need – different things?

A reader question:

I love anal sex, but my girlfriend does not. My ex-wife and a number of girlfriends have liked or loved anal sex.

I don\’t think I\’ll ever get my girlfriend to try it, and so this has me wanting to find someone else who will allow me to have anal sex with her.

What are your thoughts? I love my girlfriend, but I love anal sex.

If your partner is anti-anal, there’s probably little chance of changing that.  Its possible she could change her mind, or there’s something about your approach that’s off-putting to her, so look at that first.  But we do each have our preferences, and even with the best approach, and pain-free techniques some people simply don’t enjoy the sensation of anal.

That being said, its frustrating to not be able to express your full sexuality with your partner.  I know from experience :)

Consider how important it is to you to have a sexually compatible partner.  Are you a great match in all other areas?  Is anal sex essential to you, or is it something you could live without if you’re otherwise a good pair?  You have three options –

(1) End the relationship and find someone who is compatible.  If its a new or casual relationship, and especially if there are other ways you’re incompatible, this may be the best option if anal sex is that important to you.  If its a more serious relationship, this would obviously be a more difficult decision.  Its a quality-of-life matter: Will your life be better with a woman who can help you meet your needs, or does THIS PARTICULAR WOMAN make you want to get out of bed in the morning?  i.e., is the trade off (no anal for life) worth it?

(2) Discuss your needs with her, and try to find a way you can both express your sexualities.  She might have un-met needs too, so having a conversation about what you BOTH want is important.  This might include using erotica or porn on your own (though I assume you’re probably watching porn) or involving third parties into the relationship – be it with a casual ‘fuck buddy,’ a secondary relationship, or sex workers (prostitutes, webcam models, phone sex).  It might be a difficult conversation – or series of conversations – but honesty is usually the best policy.  If you’re holding back in one area, it makes intimacy difficult in other (non-sexual) parts of life.

(3) Cheat – involve a third party but don’t tell her.  Its an option, though I don’t recommend it.  You’ll have to deal with hiding, guilt, and a good chance she’ll be devastated if she finds out, creating self-esteem and future relationship problems.  Is it worth doing that sort of damage to you both?  

I recommend trying #2 first, and if that doesn’t work out – well, you’ve got options #1 and #3.

Edited: April 23rd, 2012