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Sometimes Conservative Christians Have a Point

I don’t agree with everything this woman says, but the judgment of her choices and beliefs is sadly common. This blog is fascinating because it demonstrates that no ideology can speak for everyone, especially not one that is said to speak for 50% of the population. Its ironic that while many people who consider themselves to be feminist have done some amazing things throughout history for women (and men) (and continue to do so) yet others use the term almost as a slur – how ABC people are NOT feminists because they believe or do XYZ (such as ‘sex workers can’t be feminists because they sell their bodies to men and contribute to the patriarchy’) – and that’s a problem. For them. Because they’re soooo unenlightened. The same way people who call themselves ‘liberal’ and listen to NPR often snub their nose at ‘conservatives’ who watch Fox News – not as if they simply reflect a difference of opinion, but as if the NPR-listener is inherently better, smarter, more advanced, more “progressive” (a term that has its origins in the eugenics movement & isn’t as historically awesome as people make it out to be).

Also I personally think we’re moving into a 4th wave of feminism… but more on that another time.

Originally posted on Tumblr.

Edited: August 13th, 2014

Pleasure Doesn’t Always Look Pretty

I believe that’s KarmenKarma. Sure this looks violent and degrading and misogynistic. And it also looks fun (& if you follow her on Twitter, you’ll see she thinks so too). I enjoy having my breathing constricted. Pleasure doesn’t always look pretty. I’d say don’t judge a book by its cover, but realistically our brains are wired to take shortcuts like that, with so much information around us to be processed. So instead of not judging, being aware of one’s judgment of book covers opens up a space to ask – well is my judgment really legit? Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. And even if it is for you, someone else may think its the best book ever written. As my dad would say, that’s why there are 64 crayons in every box (I don’t even know HOW many more there are today!).

Originally posted on Tumblr!

Edited: August 12th, 2014

Treat People Like Bunnies!

via Tumblr:

you know what upsets me

bunnies have tons of sex

like supposedly always humping right

but does that affect how we look at bunnies?

no

do we still think bunnies are cute af?

yes

do we want bunnies any less because of their sex habits?

no

treat people like bunnies ok

this has been a psa

Edited: May 25th, 2014

Finally, Its (Kind of) Okay to Be a Slut

In high school, I once spent a week at an artsy charter school. I fully transferred, then changed my mind and went back to my neighborhood school. Somehow in a week a rumor went around a few cliques that I left school because I was pregnant (like a Jewish virgin Mary). When I came back, there was some strange confrontation in the girl’s bathroom where a more “popular” girl called me a slut. I think I cried.

Things change…sort of.

The sexual double standard has existed a long time, where guys are players (good) but girls are sluts (bad). But apparently the double standard is dead among college students:

nearly half of the participants judged men and women by the same standards, and claimed to lose respect for either promiscuous men or women

Yay, everyone hates man whores as much as slutty girls!

Should we be happy men and women are judged by the same standards? Or sad we’re all judging one another equally? Because really, why does it matter what someone else does in their sex life (or any other part of their life, for that matter)?

What do you think?

Edited: September 10th, 2012

Please Don’t Tell Anyone This, But…: Why Do We Feel So Bad About Kinky Fetish Sex?

I make my living on kinky fetish sex.

People spend money to see me fart. Its pretty much the easiest and funniest way to make money. And in many ways, its the safest of all sex. Is it perverted? Well, yeah, that’s the point. But why is that a bad thing?

The main issue I see with fetishes is that people are too scared to share them, and people are too judgmental to accept them. Because most all of us have been scared our sexuality makes us bad, sinful, weird, or abnormal. People with “vanilla” desires feel this way; multiply it by a thousand for people with supposed ‘deviant’ desires.

My inbox is stuffed full of emails – How can I ask a girl to X? How can I tell him I want Y? I get emails from the 18 year-old captain of the football team, in despair because a girl laughed at his fetish. People share fantasies with me they feel they couldn’t tell their spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Jesus Christ, we’re not killing babies here. We’re sexualizing the immature, the absurd, the absolutely…normal. We’re simply finding pleasure where others don’t. What’s so wrong with a burp? Imagine a culture where new lovers burp in one another’s faces as a sign of intimacy, like for many, the first time you use your lover’s toothbrush? Just imagine: your lovers’ gases become your own.

Why? Fair question. But Why not? Why a handjob and not a footjob? Our hands pick up the filth and grime of the subway, the gas station pump, and that cold hard cash in our wallets. The feet are nicely covered up, protected by shoes and socks (sometimes, anyway). At the very least, these encapsulated feet could be seen as preserving their natural scent for erotic worship. The feet are quite sensitive, after all.

As adults, many of us have lost our ability to play games. To engage the creative side, which many of us haven’t touched since we were children; perhaps that’s why our fantasies can be so childish. Those who are brave enough to step outside of the black-and-white into that box of 128 crayons (or however many they’re up to these days) face rejection and condemnation, and internalized shame. If someone has a fetish and its not your thing – So. Fucking. What.

As long as they’re not REALLY hurting anybody, its all fair game to me.

Edited: April 9th, 2012

Relationship Advice: Let Go of Judgment to Create More Fun and Intimacy

Dr. Dain Heer’s relationship advice doesn’t just apply to sex, but to ALL areas of life. When we judge ourselves and our partners, we block the very things we may be yearning for.

This chiropractor-turned-“consciousness teacher” considers how judgment limits our sex and financial lives, and the magic that happens when we let go:

Dain Heer: See what most people need to do is actually be willing to be more outrageous. And when I say that it means be willing to be whoever you want to be in that moment, not caring who else is going to judge you. Because what most of us do is we limit ourselves based on the judgments we thing we’ll receive. “Oh my god, I couldn’t have sex with that many people, I’d be a slut.” “Oh my god, I couldn’t have that much money, my family would hate me or my family would want to take it all or they’d expect me to give it to them.” See we have all these reasons and justifications for the things we don’t allow ourselves to have, like the copulation and the orgasm and the money. So the other thing that you can do is you can make a list of every reason and justification you have for not having ten orgasms a day, or ten sexual partners and for not having triple the income, what are all the reasons and justifications? And then take it and say, “You know what, I destroy and uncreate all this stuff”, and let it go, burn it, shred it, step on it, whatever you have to do so you know, “You know what, I’m starting anew here.”

Dr. Patti Taylor: And you teach this stuff, huh?

Dain Heer: Yes, yes, and we teach it and we also show people, and we go through, we do these clearings with them on this and all kinds of other weird ways in which we lock ourselves up so that you can actually be there with somebody, look in their eyes and have no judgment of them or their body, you have no judgment of you or your body because how many people are actually comfortable being seen naked? Okay, and you have this willingness to explore that is such a gift, and when you’re in that willingness to explore together it’s hot…it’s not just, “Okay, I  had one orgasm and got off”, it’s like why would you stop at one? It’s like you have one and then you play and do something else and then you have another one and you play and do something else and, you know, more and more and more, and it starts to become this orgasmic creation between the two of you, when you come out of judgment and out of all of your points of view of the past.

More on Creating More Sex, Orgasm, Fun and Money in Your Life here.

Edited: January 27th, 2012